Give me what I need!

Give me courage to stand up!
Give me patience to be silent and listen!
Give me trust to believe in miracles!
Give me faith to hope in what I can't see!
Give me obedience to say no!

Oh... the last one I have to give to myself!

Fellowship - a living cell

A group of disciples of Jesus who care for one another. They feel safe, secure and free to share their sorrows, their struggles, their weaknesses and defeats. They trust everyone will be genuinely happy with their joys, successes, triumphs and personal growth. They are dependant on each other yet never a clique, always reaching out to serve others for the sake of Christ.
This is the living cell of the Body of Christ. This is fellowship!
Is there a living cell where I can belong?

Justice for those who need it?

Who knows the truth about anything?
You judge our thoughts before they are formed into sentences.
You judge our motives and hidden agendas.
Those around us judge our actions by their preconceptions.
Only you know the truth in us.
Do we even know ourselves except to be very imperfect?
We know that we desperately need your grace but how do you judge us harshly when your unconditional love and patience is greater than your desire to punish us?
And what do you do when those who judge us pass on their opinion and it affects our lives and our future?
“Do you rulers indeed speak justly? Do you judge uprightly among men? No, in your heart you devise injustice.” Psalm 58:1, 2
So Father, as the widow who begged for justice do what is right in our lives.
You do not treat us our sins deserve.
So do we have right to alter the lives of people around us by our judgment on their lives?
Give us justice. Silence the mouths who wish to harm us even with their “best intentions”.
You are our judge and judge every day. Bring what is right in our lives.

Keeping company with an old widow

Look is this my problem… pride?
Should you not be pleased if I love you with all my heart and love others?
Certainly isn’t these two commands a life’s aim?
Do I want to be someone important, someone walking around in flowing robes, someone who is greeted in market places as someone recognizable?
But are these people approachable by the common man?
Do I want to be seated at important places of honor?
Greed and pride becomes their lot as you once pointed out.
Rather it was a poor widow you noticed that put more into the Kingdom of God.

Father, may I be satisfied with being in the same company as this widow.
(Reflections from Mark 12:38-44)

Touching others with Holiness

Leviticus 6:18
“Whatever touches them will become holy.”

Lord, do I make others holy by my presence, my body language, my speech, my facial expression, my stares, my attitudes, my conversation, and my prayers?

“Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.” Leviticus 11:44,45

Rhythm

I enjoy concerts listening to an orchestra with its many sounds coming from unique voices created by skilled musicians. I close my eyes and listen with my mind. I able to pick out the different voices as they contribute to the score of the composer. The rhythm keeps everything moving. The rhythm may change but everyone is aware when the tempo changes. Everyone is together and music is created.

Rhythm… it is the word the ancient church fathers and those who immerse themselves with spiritual disciplines use to describe our time with God, a sacred rhythm. Prayer, meditating on the Word, reciting verses, listening to the voice of God and other disciplines dictates our daily rhythm. Paul might also describe it as “praying without ceasing” or “keeping in step with the Spirit”. How difficult it is when life dictates our rhythm rather than our passion for the Presence of God.

Oh God, Give me a new rhythm, a sacred rhythm that gives me a quiet time with you. May my life be orderly, purposeful and ready to hear your voice.

A Heart filled with pain!

“The Lord was grieved that He had made man on earth and his heart was filled with pain. I will wipe mankind from the face of the earth for I am grieved.” Genesis 6:6-7

Filled with pain!
Your imprint was stamped on our soul.
You made the mold and poured your soul into ours.
You gave us a portion of your mind.
How vast your emotions! You gave us as much as we can hold.
Yet our thoughts and ways grew wicked.
And your heart was filled with pain.
So you wiped out the cause of your pain!
You wiped out all memories yet saved a few souls and a small segment of your creation.
What haunted you was gone.
You arranged the land and seas. You reformed the mountains and valleys. You even destroyed the Garden of Eden where it all began. You gave the earth a chance to grow again.
You were that determined to wipe away the pain.
The bones of the wicked became lost in the sands of time.
Even the remains of men who once called on your name dissolved in the crevices of new formations.
A new earth was formed, a new beginning had hope.

So what can I learn from you, my God?
Am I to wipe out memories which fill my heart with pain?
Am I to rearrange my life, taking the good from the bad, washing the bad away?
Am I to reform what once was and make all things new?
Is there hope for the tomorrows of my life?
Forgive me for the pain I cause you, my crucified Savior.
Thank you that each new day is a new beginning!

In the Garden

“Lord, if I am following your will why am I so filled with mixed emotions?
I am angry that those I trust withdrew their support from me… those I trusted turned on me… even in my last days no words of support or affirmation.
I am crushed in spirit yet I believe this is the path you have blest.
How could all of this occur without your master planning?” - Jesus

Was not this how You felt in the Garden?
Your friend was coming in his ignorance, his pride, and his false assumptions.
He anointed himself to take care of You.
You were moving in a direction he felt was wrong or he felt You were not moving at all.
What he felt You should do you weren’t doing so he took things in his own hands.
He found allies and conspired. He approached You with a kiss.
But You called him friend.
You took the high road and did not expose him even though You knew he would betray you eventually.
You never exposed him to the other 11.
He wept but his sorrow was too late. Was he even sincere?
A friend he had been but now lost forever.
(Reflections from Psalm 55:12-14 and Psalm 41:9)

“During the days of Jesus life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.” Hebrews 5:7

Possessions

Why are we attached to possessions?
Is it wrong?
What if they bring back memories?
What if they bring back happy times when days seemed good?
What if they represent sacrifice of our time and great effort?
What if they were gifts from our children or grandchildren?
When do I give them up? What if God tells me to give them away, sell them or just throw them away?
If God took them away? Could I live without even the most precious possession?
I think I'll ask the young ruler whom Jesus asked to sell his possessions and give the money to the poor
I think I'll ask Job when all his possessions were taken away?
What would they say?

Which path?

If God placed me in a desert which way would I go?

Would I travel away from the sun so it wouldn't blind me?

Would I travel toward the sun thinking that it's light would illuminate a hidden door?

Would I decide the direction, north, south, east or west by which way the sun rose or disappeared?

I may live in a desert but do I have the eyes to see God's SON?

God, help me to see my way!

trust... so throw one!

What am I thinking?

Standing here in the middle... what seems to be nowhere.

But I am somewhere.

Down in an arena.

My opponent stands before me.

What am thinking?

What do I grab?

A stone, why not five?

What am I thinking?

I have a lot of thoughts!

So God what do I do?

"Throw one!"

Eyes Opened

Open my eyes Lord!
Let me not see your Glory but let me feel your Glory!
Open my heart Lord!
Let me not just feel your Glory but believe in your Glory!
What might I see if I would just open my eyes?

If my eyes were opened all the way, what would I believe?

I would see that the things I doubted were never shadows.

So what is causing my eyes not to see?

"Small particles of dust"

Progress?

I drove by massive fields of large wind mills powering energy to western Kansas.
Near by in the shadow of one large wind mill was another wind mill. But this had at one time pumped water for cattle. It was old and no longer functional.
What a picture seeing the old and the new, the past and the future.
Change… progress!
It is inevitable.
We expect it! We demand it!
But we don’t want it except when it benefits us personally.
The change God wants from me… well, do I have to?

Happy Father's Day, God!

Happy Father’s Day, Heavenly Father!
Have you had a good day?
What have you done on this special day?
Have you been able to relax and take it easy?
Did anyone do anything special for you?
Did you get a phone call from your children?
By the way, do you like humorous cards or sappy ones? Any Lowe’s gift cards?
Well, I suppose if anyone of us forgot to say we love you… we do.
Life down here is pretty busy.
But thanks for being our father.
Know you have to get up early and start to work so I’ll let you go.
You should get my card tomorrow.

Christmas in June

I looked under the tree all decorated with lights and tinsel.
The glow lights up my face.
Under the tree is a gift for me!
And my name is on the tag!
It has been sitting there waiting for me to open it.
In fact, there are many gifts with my name written on it.
All I must do is to believe that someone remembers me.
All I must do is to believe that someone cares.
Do they know me? Do they know the real me?
If they did they would know that I have been naughty and nice.
How could I be worthy of so many gifts? The number seems to be growing.
There is one problem. I have yet to open the first one…

God has many gifts for me!
They all have my name signed by Him.
Why don’t I open them?
Is it that hard to believe that inside each gift is God’s best for me?

What time is it?

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
So what time is it, God?
How do I know? How will you tell me?
Do you have a time piece hanging from your overalls?
So the clock strikes at high noon. Now what?
How will you tell me whether today will bring peace or whether I am to go to war?
How will I know whether something must die after years of being alive?
Do I tear down to build again another day?
So what time is it? How will I know?
Are there moments for specific things? Are there seasons in my life? But even then, seasons come and go and new seasons arrive. So what season am I living in or about to enter?
Is it bad for "time" to move us on down the road?
For every click and movement of the clock, something is now past and the future is about to arrive?
What of the present?
"It lasts only for a moment."
So Lord, walk beside me. Lead me down the path that is right for me.
Is it time yet?

Love, beyond my imagination

“Love is developed between two people based on what they do for each other.”
Is that selfish?
It is true!
But am I to look for what someone will do for me before I love them?
Sounds selfish and self-centered to me!
Am I to look for what others will do or should I devote myself to love someone else whether they reciprocate the action?
Should I love with no concern of a gift in return?
Sounds humanly impossible!
Yet, God! That is what you have done for me.
You have done great things and have I loved you in return with equal devotion?
No! I am sorry to admit that I haven’t.
I want to, you know I do!
But somehow you demonstrated your love for me while I was steeped in sin.
Why should I think that you would now love me less?
Your mercy and love is far greater than anyone can imagine. And I don’t even think we will understand it in heaven.

Waiting

We wait!
And we wait for God to answer our dilemmas.
We wait and wait for an answer!
No answer comes as soon as we cry out.
Why? Isn’t He there?
I can’t see him. Is He too busy or to tied up?
How dare others cut in line!
I need an answer now or I’ll die! ...
God waits.
And He waits. And He doesn’t hear anything.
No answer comes as soon as He cries out.
Why? Aren’t we there?
“How dare other things cut in line”, thinks He.
So God waits.

Can you feel?

Can you feel the hopelessness of looking down on your child and hearing him in pain?
Can you feel the anger seeing people treat your child like he isn’t human?
Can you feel the revenge swelling up inside you thinking of how unjust people are in how they treat him?
You have the power to right the wrong, every right to get even, and no one would think less of you.
How could you wait any second longer to snatch him away and remove him from such terribleness?
But of course your child is part of a bigger picture.
But why at your expense and his?
That is a mystery which has already been revealed!
Father, help me to understand your mystery for me.

Rest in His shadow

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1
Resting in a shadow!
It depends on what or who is causing the shadow.
It is the Almighty’s shadow.
Terribly large it must be, big enough to encompass me.
How large must the light be behind the Almighty to cast such a shadow?
Can such a light exist?
How could a shadow give me rest except for the knowledge that the Almighty is close by.
If I look closely I can see the outline of his silhouette.
Someday I’ll see Him face to face.
In the mean time, I must learn to trust that his even his shadow can protect me.

Shelter

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” Psalm 91:1
Let me dwell in your shelter not one I can build for myself.
Protect me from the elements. Keep me warm.

Let not my bones feel the coldness circling around me.
Let me feel your warmth.
Keep the wind from howling around me for the voices I hear make me afraid.
So calm the wind. As sure as there is a great wind, a great storm looms ready to arrive. That is what I have been told.
So calm the wind and break up colliding fronts, God Most High.
Am I to remain in your shelter to hide and to run away from life?
Is this trust?
“Dear Child,
You are to live in my shelter. My protection and care will follow you all the days of your life. I will be with you always even to the end of the age. My shelter is for those who can trust in it. Now open your heart and trust in me.”

Small

Small... isn’t it a matter of location?
Looking through a microscope or from at an ant hill,
from on top of a mountain or looking out the window of an airliner,
from the space shuttle or a lunar module.
What does the earth look like outside our solar system, just a reflection from our sun? Further out we would blend with the dark universe.
Suns, like the one in our solar system, make up the millions of galaxies estimated in the universe.
When God walks to the end of his universe, how small must we be? Yet each of us is precious in His sight.
We are His treasured possession.
Yet, so small a thing carries great pride and pride begets great arrogance.
Arrogance begets an independence from God until God is forgotten.
So how can I, so small a speck in the universe, think that the world centers on my needs?
Yet the God, who created every speck in the universe, cares for me.
Father, I really don’t understand your love!

Different Languages

Does God hear different languages or does he just understand the world as if there is one.
How marvelous is the human mind, we all have the same “stuff’.
How marvelous is the human vocal chords, we are all made the same.
How marvelous is the human body to coordinate our hearing, our thinking and our ability to comprehend words, one after another with little break, yet the human mind can understand, can break down the sentences so to make sense of the meaning.
How marvelous is the human mind to learn several languages, their grammatical structure, their idioms, and their uniqueness in a culture in order to communicate thought and ideas.
So what a challenge to spread the message of Jesus to every ethnic group in the world or even to the subcultures in our community!
But it isn’t a challenge to God who even hears our thoughts.
He hears the groaning of our heart.

So Father, hear my voice that is crying deep within me.

Drowning

Help me I am drowning?
How terrible a tragedy?
It is terrible way to pass from this life.
There are drownings that are accidental and unavoidable.

Few had a chance to survive on the Titanic.

It wasn’t their fault!
But people cry out everyday that they are drowning,

but not in water but in life.
Are they reaching out for that life preserver?
Why take that chance in deep water and undercurrents?
Why swim when you don’t have the skill?
Why place yourself in a situation that is dangerous

and then wonder why you feel like you are drowning?
Am I drowning because I have been very foolish?
Then is my cry a sound for help or a cry of self-pity.

I don’t have to drown! I can avoid it but being careful!in life!

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul,
and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5
So God has created in me the ability to love Him.
So why do I pray for this ability?
Is it something I already have deep within me?
Has God already given me everything I need in order to love Him with all my being?
Then what is the problem?
There is a battle waging within me,
a battle for my ability to love God.
If only I could believe that He has created in me the desire to love Him.
So what is the problem?
Maybe I choose not to?